A peek into my mixed-media children's book
Hardly Present
Aunt Kerry On Gagger Pushes the Envelope
Dedication:
Even though my sister Kerry On's likeness is featured in the artwork, I dedicate this book to my other sister Joan Matsui.
In 1991, during our cross-country trip across American in a camper with husband and two dogs, I documented and chronicled America by mailing her oddities from each state. She was bugged when the buffalo fur arrived and was miffed at the untreated starfish slopping from inside a cardboard box.
Even though my sister Kerry On's likeness is featured in the artwork, I dedicate this book to my other sister Joan Matsui.
In 1991, during our cross-country trip across American in a camper with husband and two dogs, I documented and chronicled America by mailing her oddities from each state. She was bugged when the buffalo fur arrived and was miffed at the untreated starfish slopping from inside a cardboard box.
Sorry.
This is the year they made stricter Postal Laws; so, it's nice to know that I made my mark in History.
Sorry, again.
Sorry, again.
My presents are actually rotten but I'm not the only one. Grandma has been sending us newspaper clippings in large manila envelopes for Years and a friend told me her mother mailed her a birthday cake that arrived no longer beautifully decorated.
So with these Presents in mind - Here is Book Two from my Desk Drawer:
So with these Presents in mind - Here is Book Two from my Desk Drawer:
Hardly Present
Hardly Gagger has a dozen remarkable aunts
.
They all love him too much, probably because he is their only nephew.
Kerry On Gagger is his favorite aunt.
She reminds him of this by constantly mailing presents.
Kerry On knows he will love buffalo fur from Yellowstone National Park.
Gift cards would be more user-friendly.
Kerry On stamps and sends a special cake from the famous Hoboken bakery.
Old smashed cake is not as good as crumpled cash.
Kerry On stumbles upon a starfish in Monterrey Bay.
Henry the Starfish arrives not as fresh.
Kerry On mails a V.I.Package from Hawaii.
Hardly hopes for Macadamia Nuts.
He’s not sure what to do with swizzle sticks and a plastic grass skirt.
Kerry's walk in the Wisconsin woods reaps rewards.
Hardly guesses that he likes the deer skull
better than the sopping starfish.
Kerry On knows her nephew will love the historical paraphernalia from
the Vegas Rat Pack Tribute Convention and Yard Sale.
Aunt Mona Lot would tell Kerry to stop sending this dreadful clutter,
but Kerry doesn’t have a cell phone.
Kerry On is updated at Time Square in New York City.
But, the latest news is getting really old.
Kerry On has a special day looking for her prince at the Franklin Renaissance Festival.
To date, no one has ever liked Chain Mail.
Kerry On finds newfangled Bug Zappers necessary at the Dodge campsite.
No. no. no. Nice Auntie Fern Plant says No to these mean
spirited items, even though Hardly really likes this present.
Oklahoma’s red clay is perfect for Hardly’s Geography projects.
With shipping costs at $123.86, Hardly wishes he hit pay-dirt instead.
Kerry On collects shells on the Virginia Beach coast.
Shells are not quite as beautiful crushed.
Not to worry, Auntie Drew Kraft plans on using them for a mosaic.
Bingo Festivals in Upper Michigan are Choice!
Twizzlers and Action Figures would have been nicer.
Kerry On uncovers artifacts in Flaming Red Gorge.
The shipping cost is over three hundred!
Auntie Mercy Goodall insists he mail it back!
And stamps just went up another three cents.
Kerry On misses her favorite nephew sooo much, she arrives in person with
a very special package from Vermont.
Kerry On is definitely Hardly’s Favorite Aunt!
Not to be outdone.
Auntie Ginger Fishburn Gagger fixes him a stupendous dinner.
Aunt Vanella White Gagger bakes him a cake.
Aunt Paige Seller Gagger writes Hardly’s memoirs.
Lisa Home Gagger will find him a better place to live.
Auntie Naieva Bookist blogs about what he is reading.
Aunt Alona Gagger checks the Want-Ads for a new uncle.
Lolly Gagger does nothing.
Auntie Drew Kraft Gagger doesn't worry at all.
Drew Kraft is his favorite aunt.
Drew Kraft is his favorite aunt.
She will remind him of this every day by training him to be a great Artist!
The next book in this series features Aunie Drew Kraft Gagger and Hardly in Hardly Artistic
Usually, I have an extremly famous illustrator in mind for my books to make my words a whole lot better, but this series of books might need to be Stampington and Company's Newest Division - Altered Art Children's Book. It needs to be a Regular size children's book, hardback of course, with Great paper, lots of color!
Now that you've seen the prototype, S&C (there are more states and packages), email me with how you'd like the artwork prepared. :)
Also, a big Thank You to Hardly Pleasant Gagger for bearing his likeness to this project.
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